Your Move, Harry Connick

Last month, Indianapolis rapper G-fresh created some buzz by becoming (I'm guessing) the first artist to get a video featuring Haughville showcased on MTV and  BET.

But as I learned today - via My Old Kentucky Blog - G-fresh is not one to rest on his laurels.  This is evident in a Colts-centric remix of his single "On My Momma,"  or as I like to call it, "The Greatest Thing You'll See Today."

Who's up for a game of shoe football?




Lil' Ronnie could not be reached for comment.

Meanwhile, Jim Sorgi's Wikipedia Page Remains Unvandalized

6:26pm Indianapolis local time:

6:27 Indianapolis local time:

BIBJ Playlist of the 2000s entry #15: Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros

A full in depth dissertation of Sigur Ros' evolution from sparse, glacial minimalists to dynamic, orchestral showstoppers is coming after the jump!

Real nice Clark...Real nice.

The Colts are still revelling in their new found status as the Super Bowl champs. Some players have celebrated in the usual ways: appearing on Letterman or getting a good old-fashioned DWI, but for Dallas Clark (President of the "football players who smile way too much during play" club) the off season means he can let loose with his favorite pastime: harassing referees at a girls high-school basketball game.

Clark, an Iowa native and former Hawkeyes' football player, was asked to leave the gymnasium late in the third quarter of the district final game between Twin River Valley of Bode, where Clark attended high school, and Southeast Webster-Grand of Burnside in Burnside, two school officials said Monday.

"I have seen other parents behave a lot worse, but he apparently got into one of the officials' ear," said Kirk Gilson, the athletic director at Southeast Webster-Grand. "I really don't know what led up to it, but apparently one of the referees didn't like what he heard from him."

I think I speak for most people when I say that I applaud Dallas Clark. High-school girls basketball referees have run things in Iowa for far too long and it's about time that they got their comeuppance. Clark has yet to comment, and there's no truth that he's been offered an assistant coach position with the Indiana Fever.

Champions

Go ahead. Talk all you want.

Talk about Devin Hester's return.

Talk about the rain.

Talk about the vaunted Bear D.

Talk about good Rex and bad Rex.

Talk about turnovers.

Talk about monkeys and choking.

Talk about whatever you want.

I've got just one question for you?

How many games did the Bears win Sunday? Huh? Zero.

The Colts won one.

World champions. Lombardi Trophy. Super Bowl XLI Champion Indianapolis Colts.

Finally, an Expert

After being overwhelmed by numerous e-mails arguing plotlines like whether or not the Bears blitz enough or if the Colts' no-huddle will have its desired effect, Bad Idea Blue Jeans is pleased to hear the insights of someone with unmatched perspective. "Too much f*cking perspective" (nod to David St. Hubbins).
That's Edna Parker, the United States' oldest citizen and three months or a dead Japanese woman short of being the oldest person on the planet Earth. She'll turn the big 1-1-4 on April 20th of this year. She's a graduate of Franklin College and a resident of the Heritage House Convalescent Center in Shelbyville, Indiana and damn it, she's a Colts fan.

Edna was born April 20, 1893 when Grover Cleveland was in his second non-consecutive term as president. She's lived through 20 presidents and was a paltry 73 years old when Bart Starr won the first Super Bowl with the Packers, and she's been a widow for only 68 years. Shit, that's old.

Frankly, Edna is well and done with talk of good Rex vs. bad Rex and the business of Peyton Manning's monkey. She doesn't care how many times you've looked at the Bears' Cover 2 or Peyton's line-of-scrimmage gesticulations, damn it she's seen it all and she's made up her mind. She's lived a life full of bacon and lard, doesn't shy away from salt, and she's got one message for all you inferiorty complex ridden mooks from Chicago...

Go Colts, Go!

He's back, and we may be doomed

You have got to be kidding me.

Here's a little timeline for those not in the know:

December, 2005: The Colts start the season 13-0.
December, 2005: Lil' Ronnie releases a terrible Colts-related rap song, containing the phrase "18-0, Super Bowl bound"
December, 2005: The Colts lose to the Chargers, ending the undefeated run.
January, 2006: The Colts lose to the Steelers in the divisional playoffs, and Lil' Ronnie vanishes without a trace.

December 2006: The Colts give up 375 rushing yards in a blowout loss to the Jags. It becomes clear this team is once again set for an early playoff loss.
January, 2007: The Colts, in successive weeks, shut down Larry Johnson, pull off an upset on the road in Baltimore, and complete the biggest comeback in championship game history over the Patriots. Of even more importance, all of this is accomplished with Lil' Ronnie in public exile, having not been heard from since last season's debacle.
February, 2007: The Colts are a 6 1/2 point favorite in Super Bowl XLI. The players seems calm and focused, and Brian Urlacher is on the cover of Sports Illustrated. No jinx fears anywhere.
February 2, 2007: On a day that should be reserved for nothing more than quoting Ned Ryerson, Lil' Ronnie RETURNS with a Super Bowl remix!


You have got to be kidding! 2 days before the game, this kid resurfaces?! I'm sensing conspiracies on an Oliver Stone level. Regardless, this news is crushing to me, and has me fearing that the Lil' Ronnie curse will rear it's ugly head on Sunday. I swear, if the Colts lose this game, I'm personally sending Nick Harper's wife to take out Lil' Ronnie, along with the rest of "31 South Entertainment."

Step off, punk.

Colts vs. Bears? Let Hip Hop Decide

Not to leave any stone unturned, Indy's own Mudkids have dropped some lines in praise of the Colts. They recruited Colts man-on-the-street Zack Legend to lend some production.

The highlight has to be the guy doing the "mime trapped in a box" on the steps of the RCA Dome with 1:11 remaining. Also, I admit I love the lyrical stylings of "a draw to Addai." That's poetry.

As of yet, there's been no response from Lil' Ronnie or Jim McMahon.

It's Official!

It's official! God hates Tom Brady (and loves Marlin Jackson) as much as everyone else!

From our good friends at The Associate Press:

Indianapolis - Yes, Peyton Manning, it’s OK to pray for help on the playing field.
The Indianapolis Colts quarterback said he sought some divine intervention before the Patriots' final drive in Sunday’s AFC Championship Game, which ended with an interception thrown by Tom Brady. “I said a little prayer on that last drive,” Manning said after the Colts’ victory earned them a trip to the Super Bowl. “I don’t know if you’re supposed to pray for stuff like that, but I said a little prayer.”
Religious experts said Manning’s prayer was appropriate as a gesture of faith, but they don’t agree on whether the Colts victory was the answer to his request.
Rev. Edward Wheeler, president of the Christian Theological Seminary in Indianapolis, said his college football teammates sometimes asked him to pray for victory, but Wheeler instead prayed for the team’s ability to play its best.
“I don’t think Peyton’s prayer was answered with a Colts victory,” Wheeler said.
Sister Terese Boersig of Carmel of the Resurrection Monastery in Indianapolis said Manning’s prayer “absolutely” was within bounds.
“Now, what would not be appropriate is if you prayed that Tom Brady broke his leg,” Boersig said.

Peyton gets a break from the G-man. It's about time, God!

Middle Ground Hard to Find for Super Bowl

Much is being made of the Super Bowl XLI matchup that pits two teams linked by I-65. Indianapolis and Chicago are about 180 miles apart leaving many folks stradling an imaginary loyalty line, a McMahon/Harbaugh storied and ages old.

Where that fabled halfway point lies is up to some heated debate. Three towns are currently claiming to sport the line where you stop walking out of Bears country and start into Colts territory.

Say hello to Fowler, Remington, and the ever-popular Battle Ground.

All three towns are in northwestern Indiana. Fowler claims 2,271 souls and surprisingly Remington and Battle Ground both have 1,323 folks so the rivalry is already ripe (although that's based on Wikipedia). However, this debate is measured in miles and those are at a premium.

Remington is front page news in the Indianapolis Star with its thoroughfare - aptly named Division Street - keeping it 91.15 miles from the RCA Dome and 91.82 miles from UFO-Soldier Field.

Battle Ground - thanks mainly to bad math by WTHR - has been claimed to be "exactly half way between Chicago and Indianapolis." From there it's riding the coattails of a name gained through some military action by everyone's favorite one-month president, William Henry Harrison.

However, I've got to give my money to Fowler and the 100 Mile Rib & Chop House. The 100 Mile House is an institution around those parts named for its equidistance from Indianapolis and Chicago. To its credit they serve up a mean tenderloin and in turn will gain the most financial return by again getting its name in the paper. If there's anything to learn from this debate, there's money to be made.

What does it all mean? Not too much. Three towns get their names and resident media whores i, the news. The Colts continue to gain dominance in fan loyalty throughout its home state. And Indiana's own Rex Grossman has been voted the worst Super Bowl quarterback of all time.

Enjoy the ride.

Indy Idol

For the last 6 seasons, television executives at CBS, NBC, and ABC have been at a loss for words. Each year, American Idol marches over the competition like Napoleon traipsing through Italy. Time and time again, the networks have tried something, anything, to slow down the ratings juggernaut, but nothing has worked. The Idol train has rolled on, leaving a wake of destruction behind. The season premiere of Idol last week was watched by 37.3 million people - the 2nd largest number in this history of the show! But this past week, one man decided he had seen enough. He took it upon himself to not only slow down the Idol juggernaut, but to kick it all the way down to third - third! - place.

That man's name? Peyton f'ing Manning.

For the week of Jan. 15-21, the top 10 shows, their networks and viewerships:

1. "AFC Championship Post-Game Show," CBS, 47.7 million
2. AFC Championship: New England at Indianapolis, CBS, 46.7 million.
3. "American Idol" (Tuesday), Fox, 37.44 million
4. "American Idol" (Wednesday), Fox, 36.94 million
5. "AFC Championship Post-Game Show," CBS, 29.39 million
6. "Grey's Anatomy," ABC, 21.94 million
7. "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 21.41 million
8. "Golden Globe Awards," NBC, 20.04 million
9. "Desperate Housewives," ABC, 17.14 million
10. "NCIS," CBS, 15.95 million

I for one will not attempt to explain how the AFC Chamionship Post-Game Show ended up in both 1st and 5th place, but it's good to see that between the Colts and Idol, Grey's Anatomy was bumped down to 6th place. Of course Grey's is still #1 with a bullet in the highly coveted "18-49 year old homophobes who routinely call co-workers faggots" demographic. 2nd place in this demo? You guessed it: According to Jim.

Colts Fighting a Ketchup Conspriacy

The Indianapolis Colts might be up against more than a damaged Rodney Harrison, Tom Brady's heroics and Belichick's game plan.

There's ketchup to be had.

As reported at Inside Indiana Business, the manufacturers of Heinz Ketchup are suing Elwood, Indiana's Red Gold Inc. for its sponsorship of the "Red Gold Red Zone" at the Colts' home stadium. Each time the Colts score from inside the 20, Red Gold donates tomato products to Indianapolis area food pantries - amounting to over 136 TONS over the past four seasons.

Turns out H.J. Heinz isn't fighting over Red Gold's altruism, no Heinz is none too pleased with their use of a certain term: Red Zone.

Hold the phone, Heinz owns the red zone? According to the cease-and-desist order they do. Better not tell Joe Gibbs who coined the phrase in 1982.

As the press release notes, Heinz started sponsoring the "Heinz Red Zone" at Heinz stadium in nineteen ninety-heinz (Heinz is in ongoing litigation over the rights to numbers 33, 57, and 99). The kicker in all of this - if you score from the disputed Red Zone in Pittsburgh the scoreboard goes nuts and poor people go hungry. Heinz in no way donates any money or product based on Steeler success. It's all advertising.

But wait, there's more: Who's thrown their hat into the melee? New England Patriots fan, Senator John Kerry. Seems Kerry has wagered Indiana Senator Evan Bayh a swift boat-load of clam chowder versus some South Bend Chocolate Company caramel corn. Oh wait, who is Kerry married to again? F*ck'n Teresa HEINZ Kerry, the Ketchup magnate herself! We've got ourselves a conspiracy wrapped up in a two-front war Napoleon would be proud of.

I encourage you to contact Red Gold and voice your support of Red Zone independence. If a team and city can't celebrate a Marvin Harrison touchdown with their local tomato canners, I don't want to be an American anymore.

15 - 6

I didn't know Civil War generals had garage sales.

Bottom Line

What Can Stop the Bleating?

I'm from Indianapolis.

We're pushing 800,000 people, three marquee auto races a year, great cost of living, a ridiculously beautiful minor league ball field, a Final Four every five years or so, the Pacers and since 1984 the Colts.

Those same Indianapolis Colts will take on the Baltimore Ravens in the NFL playoffs this afternoon, yet matchups have not been dominating the coverage. Sure, there's been the requisite talk of Ray Lewis's defense versus Peyton Manning's offense, but too much time and ink have been devoted to the indignation Baltimore has against Indianapolis for the 1984 departure of the Colts.

If you don't know how moment-to-moment and profound that instance was, take a listen to this audio.

Evidently, Baltimorians-ites-philes-ists still hold a grudge for the Colts's move 22 years ago - When Reagan was president, Thriller was king, stamps were 20 cents, and both the Raiders and Redskins could make it to the Super Bowl. Who could blame such disgust when the team slips out in the middle of the night? Who could blame them then? But as of now, Baltimore really should have moved on. Some reasons for closure

• Rohn Stark, punter and last Baltimore Colt to wear the blue and white in Indianapolis, left the organization in 1994 spending three more seasons with Pittsburgh, Seattle & Carolina.
• February 8, 1996 Art Modell moves the then Cleveland Browns to Baltimore filling the 13 year NFL-less void.
• Robert Irsay, the man who moved the team to Indianapolis, died on January 18, 1997.
• The Ravens won Super Bowl XXXV in 2001.
• Johnny Unitas openly swore his allegiance to Baltimore and not the Colts organization.

Whether or not Baltimore decides to move on is up to their fans. I've been to Baltimore - and not just the inner harbor mind you - and I've trapsed through many of its 4,000 or so documented neighborhoods (the actual number may be lower). I've had crab cakes at Phillip's. I've been openly gawked at for being the only white man on the street car. I've had beers in some awesome pubs while meth heads are being rounded up on the curb. It's a neat town, a unique town, a place most people would visit but only a select few would stay. And those few are the Baltimore loyals, committed to their city's image even more than Hasim Rahman.

So what will it be Baltimore? Will a loss today finally settle the score? Will a victory prove your inherent dominance? Will Ed Reed return a pick-six and point at Unitas and Art Donovan's numbers enshrined at M&T Bank Stadium?

Or will Robert Irsay continue to be a spook story you tell your kids - "If you don't eat your meat, ole' Bobby Irsay will come and move your parents to Indianapolis in the middle of the night. And you won't have anyone to love you for 13 years or until some other team craps on their city and moves downtown."

It's really looks like Baltimore is too happy with disgust. So, what's it gonna be?

Dwight Freeney? Never Heard of Him.

That's Colts defensive end Dwight Freeney dominating the front page of Sunday's Indianapolis Star. The Colts and the entire city celebrated the 23 - 8 victory thanks mainly to an unrealistically amped up Colts defense. Freeney was a major part of that success getting great pressure on Trent Green and being the anchor for the Colts pass rush.


Freeney is well-entrenched in the hearts of his fans despite leading the league's worst rush defense. Evidently, he hasn't made that big of an impression on the copywriters at his local rag though.


Hopefully Freeney doesn't feel slighted. Lil Ronnie was listed as starting long snapper.

Colts Love Voltron & Big Wheels...Tackling, not so much

After meeting the Hanson brothers in the immortal hockey chronicle Slap Shot, Reggie Dunlop is aghast that, "They brought their f*ckin' toys with 'em!"

Perhaps Tony Dungy should feel the same way.

Meer days after one of the most pitiful defeats in Colts history - a 27-24 undressing by the previously uber-defeatable Houston Texans - the Colts are in the Indianapolis Star gushing about their favorite Christmas gifts ever.

Of course, the calendar being what it is there aren't too many windows to fit into the local coverage how much safety Marlin Jackson loved the sh*t out of his Nintendo Game Boy. Yet, if I were the Colts and I had just given Ron Dayne his greatest Christmas present - a career best 153 rushing yards - I don't think I'd let it go to print that Dwight Freeney, Raheem Brock and Gary Brackett can't get enough of Voltron especially when they didn't sack David Carr once!

What's more depressing is that these gift stories illuminated heretofore unknown greatness...and the Colts organization ignored them. No one could stop three-year-old Dominic Rhodes or his Smurf big wheel which leaves me incredulous to why he would only carry twice for 15 yards and leave rookie Joseph Addai - who has no documented Big Wheel experience - to get the bulk of the workload...and almost a yard less per rush. (For the record 100 yards on 15 carries is officially studly. Nice work Joe.)

In all fairness, these interviews were most likely done well in advance of the Texans debacle so reporter Phillip B. Wilson might take a day off just like the Colts defense tends to do post week 10. Who am I to cast stones? Do all of the Blue Nation a favor though Colts. Beat Miami. And if you can't do it for your fans and yourselves, well...

Do it for Voltron.