Plugs for the Program

Months after the original announcement was made, the Office-spinoff-that-in-fact-is-not-a-spin-off-but-in-fact-a-completely-original-show-from-the-executive-producers-of-The-Office finally has a title and timeslot. Public Service, starring Amy Poehler, will debut in August, and will be set in the town of Pawnee, Indiana. Will this setting prompt the same local pride that Scranton, Pennsylvania has burst with? It's not likely for several reasons, the main being that Pawnee, Indiana is not a real city. But where could Public Service rate in the canon of television shows set in the state? Let's examine a few of the contenders.

Good Morning Miss Bliss (1988)
The precursor to Saved By The Bell, this Hayley Mills vehicle took place at John F. Kennedy middle school in Indianapolis. It aired in prime time and focused more on the teacher than the students. After one season Hayley Mills was sent on her way, the setting moved to California, and The Max opened for business. The first time I ever saw a rerun of this this program, I had already consumed hours upon hours of Saved By The Bell, so witnessing this theretofore undiscovered alternate-dimension of a show was befuddling to say the least. It's like growing up worshipping the Monkees TV show, and then watching Head. Nothing really makes sense at that moment.


Hang Time (1995-2000)
Another teen school concept, the Deering Tornadoes were a slightly less intimidating team than the Hickory Huskers. However, Deering's head coach was Reggie Theus, who inexplicably would go on to actually become an NBA head coach. Did he put Hang Time on his career resume? The story is amazing on several levels. (What was not as amazing was Theus getting fired in less than two seasons.) Hang Time showcased some of my favorite athletic-based sitcom elements: soundstages disguised as abnormally tiny gyms, mismatched uniforms, and crowds that remain completely silent just before tip-off. Hoosier hysteria!




Eerie, Indiana (1991)
Creepy things happen out in the sticks. The teenage protagonist took the form of a young Fox Mulder in examining strange happenings in the town of Eerie. The opening credits create instant sympathy when you realize he was forced to grow up in New Jersey. While the second half of the credits feature laughably painful special effects, this clip showcases a directing style that's shockingly savvy for a network program.



Wouldn't it be great if the entire episode was just 44 minutes of various objects popping out of cereal bowls?

Close to Home (2005-07)
This CBS courtroom drama revolves around aggressive young prosecutor Annabeth Chase, who returns to work after having her first child. The legal drama is set in the Indianapolis suburbs and comes from Jerry Bruckheimer. It differs from his other procedurals by delving closely into Annabeth's personal life and how her responsibilities at home may interfere with her job. She's assigned tough cases, which she is determined to solve to keep her community safe.

NOTE: This description comes from TV Guide, as up until 10 minutes ago I had no idea this show existed. Let's move on.

One Day At a Time (1975-84)


The gold standard of Indiana-based programming, Bonnie Franklin moves to the circle city with her daughters, Mackenzie Phillips and Valerie Bertinelli. Hilarity ensues with frequent visits from the building's mustachioed super, Schneider. This show was top-rated for nearly a decade, and even featured a young Mark Hamill as Schneider's kleptomaniac nephew. Tool belts all around.


Armed and Famous (2008)
For a show that aired only four times before getting cancelled, this reality bomb generated no shortage of great moments. From group taser sessions, to LaToya Jackson walking the streets of Muncie as a prostitute, to Erik Estrada screaming at a recently stabbed activist, the series could be summed up with the cast's dedication to the craft of fine police work.

Coaching Carousel: Change of Venue

It was interesting to hear the Indiana University faithful calling for an inside man to replace the calamity that was Kelvin Sampson after Sampson was run out of Bloomington. People were even getting kicked out of Assembly Hall for calling for the return of Bob Knight through that last great bastion of free speech: the homemade t-shirt.

Who stepped into the breach? Dan Dakich, former Indiana player and Indiana assistant under His Holiness, R. M. Knight, with ten years of head coaching experience at the Division 1 level at Bowling Green to boot. Quite the capable fellow.

Dakich was an improbable and, honestly, accidental head coach for the remainder of the 2007-2008 season. He had begun the year as the director of basketball operations which to most lay men is a glorified, administrative grunt. Regardless, Dakich was at his school serving the program he loved and wanted to succeed.

Then came the ignominious departure of Rob Senderoff. Dakich stepped out of the office and onto the court becoming one of Sampson's assistants. I think Dan even got to speak during some timeouts.

Finally, Sampson did the decent thing and exited Indiana mid-season leaving Dakich to coach the Hoosiers through their final seven games. It was quite the meteoric rise and undoubtedly not the course Dakich would have chosen himself.

Within days of the end of the season, talk began to swirl around who would replace Sampson permanently. Few gave Dakich a chance to continue leading Indiana with its (albeit distant) National Championship pedigree, and eleven days after losing to Arkansas in the first round of the NCAA tournament Dakich was replaced by Tom Crean. A mass exodus from the program followed leaving the Hoosiers a mere shell of the previous season. The torrent of departures took Dakich with it, and Indiana is currently 5-4 with a bevy of transfers and walkons.

You might think Dakich would land on his feet after having spent his entire coaching career in NCAA division 1 with head coaching experience at Bowling Green, Indiana, and West Virginia (if only for a scandal ridden week). But the NCAA was just one letter too long.

Enter the CYO.

Dakich is currently building a program at Bloomington's St. Charles Borromeo where he heads up the 8th grade A Team. Don't believe me, check the CYO's website below.


The program is in place with assistant coaches Schneider and Stratten pulling double duty with the B team. Honestly, they have three coaches for a grade school team. In all fairness, Dakich's son is quite a baller on the team and Dakich is used to being around guys that coached their boys (Pat Knight, Kellen Sampson). He's obviously waiting for the right opportunity to move beyond the coaching springboard that is the CYO.

Gary Parrish actually scooped this story months ago, but the story is intriguing nonetheless. One moment you're on top of your professional world; the next you're sharing gym time with a pot-luck, funeral dinner.

The ultimate kick in the pants rests with ol' slime bucket himself, Kelvin Sampson. While Dakich moved in at the most inopportune time to take his dream job only to be replaced in a matter of weeks, Sampson, the man who single-handedly ruined a storied program - one I'm proud to root against - is off cavorting in the NBA while Dakich is getting his kids primed for their upcoming tilt with St. Jude. Sometimes, life just ain't fair. Although, taking Dakich at his word he's all for it.

Luckily, St. Charles is a force to be reckoned with, having dismantaled Indianapolis power St. Barnabas 50-33. To put that in perspective, the team Dakich coached last year, the Indiana Hoosiers, only put up 54 points last weekend against Gonzaga...and the Hoosiers had 16 more minutes of game.

Looks like the kids in Bloomington still know how to run the motion offense...only these kids are just 13 years old.

Double Down

Just about eight years ago I touched down in the sweltering humidity of Tokyo for a whirlwind three day indoctrination before a year's service to the Rising Sun. I remember - ironically enough - rooming with two other guys in the five-star Keio Plaza Hotel. One was from Missouri and the other Kansas, I think (I do remember his name was Jeff.) Almost immediately through our jet-lagged introductions, I began gushing over my homeland in the heartland.

I'm from Indiana, and I share a familiar half pride/half chagrin attitude to my home state. Make no doubt about it, I'm damn proud of where I'm from (see how I did that, using from as an adverb.) I'm also quite a realist and enjoy seeing things as they are. In Indiana, when we hear hoofbeats, we don't think zebras too often. This attitude keeps me proud of my Indiana roots and at the same time apoplectic at the number of folksy representatives that inevitably creep out of their hovels whenever a camera's present.

What's that have to do with gambling? I'm glad you asked.

One of the great things about Indiana is our recent acceptance of legalized gambling. As recent as ten years ago, you'd be hard pressed to press your luck on anything beyond a one dollar scratch-off ticket or your pick of forty-four tumbling balls. Enter the parimutuel track. Followed closely by the riverboat. And what does one get when combining the two? That's right, a race-ino.

Last week I ventured down to the new Indiana Live! race-ino near the bustling burg of Shelbyville. It's all electronic, no table games, with an unending cover band/karaoke racket behind the bar. It's billing itself as having a "Vegas attitude" with an "Indiana address." Sure.

A quick glance shows the overwhelming pallet of casino colors and sounds, and a quick tour round the website devoted to jackpot winners displays something a bit too wholesome for Sin City's reputation.

Here we have Jeff and Sarah with their $15,000 in winnings. My money's on Jeff springing for a truckload of Skoal tobaccy.

Glenda plans to blow the entire $2,000 on her hulk-a-maniac hunk.
And then there's Arlo. Words cannot express what $2,000 must mean to this guy. I know I'd be that happy to be holding a fake check.

Am I embarassed by these people. Hell no. I am however thoroughly embarassed by a casino 700 miles from any ocean, surrounded by verdant fields, and 300 yards from a McDonald's thinking it has a "Vegas attitude." This is a rural casino, and you're more likely to be holding a fake $20,000 check in front of the Enchanted Unicorn penny slot than see Myrtle from Greensburg order a mojito. It's Indiana through and through.

* * *

Back in Japan, my buddy Matt, who was himself born - if only by geography - in Indiana, raised in Chicago, matriculated in Minnesota and then transplanted to Denver never let me get too down on my earthy Hoosier mates. He reminded me that you're going to find people like Glenda and Jeff where ever you go. At that moment, I think I started to let the little, repressed Arlo in me shine...well maybe not. I don't look good in oversized polos.

Indiana Live! Keep the gambling, lose the identity crisis, and please keep passing out those crazy checks.