You Are the Father!

Not only is TNT NBA reporter Craig Sager the master of horrendously colored suits and renaming shots, but he's also a paternity expert, as he displayed during Thursday's Lakers/Pistons duel.



Way to hog multiple dads, Webber. Spread the wealth with that (probably) fatherless bastard Ray Jackson, why don't you? To be fair, you can't really blame Sager for the mix-up. According to the NCAA, Webber's birth certificate has been erased from the record books, and it's like he was never even born.

Indy Idol

For the last 6 seasons, television executives at CBS, NBC, and ABC have been at a loss for words. Each year, American Idol marches over the competition like Napoleon traipsing through Italy. Time and time again, the networks have tried something, anything, to slow down the ratings juggernaut, but nothing has worked. The Idol train has rolled on, leaving a wake of destruction behind. The season premiere of Idol last week was watched by 37.3 million people - the 2nd largest number in this history of the show! But this past week, one man decided he had seen enough. He took it upon himself to not only slow down the Idol juggernaut, but to kick it all the way down to third - third! - place.

That man's name? Peyton f'ing Manning.

For the week of Jan. 15-21, the top 10 shows, their networks and viewerships:

1. "AFC Championship Post-Game Show," CBS, 47.7 million
2. AFC Championship: New England at Indianapolis, CBS, 46.7 million.
3. "American Idol" (Tuesday), Fox, 37.44 million
4. "American Idol" (Wednesday), Fox, 36.94 million
5. "AFC Championship Post-Game Show," CBS, 29.39 million
6. "Grey's Anatomy," ABC, 21.94 million
7. "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 21.41 million
8. "Golden Globe Awards," NBC, 20.04 million
9. "Desperate Housewives," ABC, 17.14 million
10. "NCIS," CBS, 15.95 million

I for one will not attempt to explain how the AFC Chamionship Post-Game Show ended up in both 1st and 5th place, but it's good to see that between the Colts and Idol, Grey's Anatomy was bumped down to 6th place. Of course Grey's is still #1 with a bullet in the highly coveted "18-49 year old homophobes who routinely call co-workers faggots" demographic. 2nd place in this demo? You guessed it: According to Jim.

What do Martin Luther King and Ponch have in common?

Watch the video here. The reaction of the woman wearing the Bears jersey when she realizes who she's talking to is tremendous.


MUNCIE -- After being stabbed in the leg, a community activist got into a shouting match in an ambulance with a star of a reality show being shot in Muncie, Indiana.

Randall R. Sims, 53, was listed in fair condition Thursday at Ball Memorial Hospital, according to hospital spokesman Neil Gifford.

Before being taken by ambulance to the hospital, Sims exchanged angry words with -- and announced plans to sue -- actor Erik Estrada, a reserve city officer starring in the CBS-TV reality series Armed & Famous.

Muncie police arrested Cynthia Shouse, 28, on a preliminary charge of domestic battery with a deadly weapon. She was being held without bond Thursday in the Delaware County jail.

Two boys in Shouse's home, ages 10 and 11, were released to a grandmother, according to police reports.

Police responded to Shouse's residence around 11:15 p.m. Wednesday after the woman called 911 and reported Sims had been stabbed, police reports said.

"Basically, they got into a fight," MPD detective Barry Privett told The Star Press. "There was probably alcohol involved, and she ended up stabbing him."

"Shouse indicated that she had been drinking with Sims and that he was abusive to her and that she stabbed him because he would not leave and would not get off of her," the affidavit said.
Police believe Shouse might have been acting in self-defense, but because she was uncooperative, they were forced to arrest her, Privett said.

Celebrity officer Estrada assisted at the scene and eventually became involved in a shouting match with Sims in the back of an ambulance, which Estrada had entered after being asked to remove handcuffs from Sims's wrists.

The argument began when Sims -- who referred to Estrada by the name of another Hollywood actor, Emilio Estevez -- said he didn't want to appear on Armed & Famous and intended to sue the former CHiPs star.

Sims is best known locally for his role in ultimately successful efforts to persuade city leaders to rename Broadway in honor of slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr.

Apparently referring to those efforts, Sims told Estrada he knew nothing about King and had only been in Muncie "for two days."

Estrada told Sims he had been in town for six weeks, also noting he had been born in a Harlem hospital and grew up in Spanish Harlem -- a Manhattan neighborhood that has battled problems with crime and poverty, and was cited by King in a landmark 1967 speech in which he called for an end to the Vietnam War.

The encounter between Estrada and Sims ended with an exchange of obscenities before the celebrity officer left the ambulance.

Muncie Police Chief Joe Winkle said Thursday night that he had not yet seen footage from the event and could not comment on whether Estrada had acted appropriately in his dealings with Sims.

In the past 14 months, Sims has twice been charged with driving while intoxicated, in November 2005 and again last Oct. 26. Both cases are still pending in Muncie City Court.
Shouse was convicted of burglary in 2000, and remains on probation in that case, according to Delaware County court records.

She also has misdemeanor convictions for driving while intoxicated (in 2002 and 2004), criminal conversion (2002), battery (2003) and driving without ever receiving a license (2005).
While Shouse was uncooperative, police also filed a battery report on her behalf against Sims, Privett said.

Police also cited Sims for disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor.

That deserves a wow

I've heard good things about the show Friday Night Lights, but as with most shows, I'm hesitant to jump in mid-stream. Luckily Bravo was showing a marathon of the season thus far on Saturday, so thanks to my trusty DVR I was able to catch the first half-season in a weekend. The show itself is pretty good, and my main criticism of it thus far is the ridiculous scripted play-calling within the games (at one point, facing a crucial 4th-and-1, the fictional Dillon Panthers run a ridiculously stupid double reverse. Another time, trailing in the final seconds, the team runs two straight sweeps. Is Mike Martz their offensive coordinator?)

Alas, my criticism that the play-calling within the show are too far-fetched to be believed may take a backseat this morning, after witnessing the real-life insanity of the Fiesta Bowl. A quick rundown of the finish to a game that Hollywood could never recreate.

• Oklahoma, down by 8 with 1:30 left, scores a touchdown. The Sooners then throw an incomplete pass on the 2-point conversion, but Boise St. is called for a penalty. On the retry the Sooners convert, but are flagged for a penalty of their own. They follow by succeeding on their 3rd try and tying the game.
• On the next play from scrimmage, Boise State's quarterback throws a terrible pass right to an Oklahoma DB, who runs it back untouched for TD, putting OU up 35-28 with a minute left.
• Boise State rebounds and drives to midfield with time running out and facing a 4th-and-18, when the Broncos pull out the hook-and-ladder and it works to perfection for a game-tying touchdown with 7 seconds left. Just insane. But it gets better
  
• After Oklahoma scores first in OT, Boise State lets a halfback take the direct snap on 4th-and-2, and the halfback throws a touchdown pass. Naturally.
• Boise State goes for the win instead of another overtime, and on the ensuing conversion attempt, they pull out the Statue of Liberty! This was the point where I screamed out loud in my apartment.

You can witness the insanity below, and the sequence is (hyperbole aside) maybe the most amazing thing I've seen in sports. By the end of it, I wouldn't have been surprised to see Rudy or Radio make a play. The playcalling of Boise State is the true mark of a coaching staff whose collective cojones cannot be contained in Tostito's bags. Oh yeah, after the game, Ian Johnson (who scored the winning conversion) proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. Unfortunately it was ruined by FOX blowhard Chris Myers interviewing Johnson (with his girlfriend right there) and saying "So I guess you're going to propose to your girlfriend now." Way to ruin the surprise, Myers! Why don't you remind them that Boise isn't even really a state while you're at it, killjoy.



UPDATE: Here's the Chris Myers fiasco, about 1:00 into the clip below. Gotta love how dismissive he is in introducing the whole thing. And I have no idea who the local sports hack is that pops up at the end of the clip.