A previous Runway blog of mine began with an apology to my roommate. And this one will begin with an apology to one of my most faithful and fervent readers, Beth.
I won't make excuses, Beth. Despite the fact that I still can't find my notes (yes, I take notes during the show, and yes, I apparently lose them), and that I've contracted some sort of illness that weakens not only my immune system, but my sharp wit, I am going to crank out a doozy of a blog!
This blog's for you!
Alright. it's become clear to me that if the challenge limits the variety of fabric, of of the designs will pretty much tie for "suckiest." Think Hershey's competition. Think plant competition from a few seasons ago. Think denim.
Of course, the show is now in a hypnotic pattern in the first 5 minutes:
1. exterior shot of building
2. shot of sweet p's unkempt hair (and unkempt chest.....please P, a bra. Please.)
3. shot of shirtless guy (Rami's really the only viable candidate left for this one)
4. everyone lamenting the departure of whoever departed last episode (my dearest Kit, in this case)
5. Christian declaring that he's glad they're gone (in all in sassiness)
6. stupid model swap (stupid is modifying the swap, not the models)
7. heidi telling them nothing about the challenge
8. tim taking them on a mysterious "field trip"
...and then we get to something different. Only it wasn't different. It was a race to fabric! Just like the first episode. And just like the first episode, Sweet P's shoes came off and Chris was forced to run, with all of America watching. That's just mean.
At this point, i'm not quite sure who I'm rooting for. My favs are gone (Kevin, Kit) and here's what remains:
Jillian (aka Jesse Spanno)
Christian (aka Mango)
Chris (aka Harvey Fierstein)
Rami (aka Rupert Everett)
Ricky (aka Chris Crocker)
Sweet P (aka Melisssa Etheridge)
As for the clothing, here's my quick take (three words or less)
Christian - dammit you're good
Ricky - slut look wins?
Chris - pockets are jank
Rami - can't drape denim?
Sweet P - damn you hippie
Jillian - buy a watch
Victorya - apply at Kohl's
The Ricky crying count stands at 13, which seems to correspending with the times that I've screamed toward the heavens, asking God what kind of world we live it that would allow this cut-off shorts and monkey hat-wearing no talent hack to stay on the show. For once, I shared Christian's opinion on something (still this Christian sucks balls....well, in the insulting kind of way).
As for predictions, it's clear that Rami and Christian are in the finals. If Jillian stops taking caffeine pills, she might get there. If not, I suppose Sweet P will slide in there.
Ricky or Chris will leave next week. Mark my consistently inaccurate words!