Thursday, March 06, 2008

The End Has No End

Well, my friends, Bravo sure knows how to frame an engaging season finale, even though it is abundantly clear what the outcome will be.

My conservative estimate is that 90% of the faithful Runway watchers went into the season finale with the assumption that Christian was the foregone winner. And then, within the first 5 minutes, they brought Christian's arrogance waaaaay down with his whining and worrying.

And then two events make it abundantly clear that a) Jillian would be the first to go and b) Rami would give Christian a run for his money.

Event #1: Jillian goes against Tim's advice in reference to the Raggady Anned-shouldered sweater. Old girl doesn't seem to understand that to defy Tim is to defy fashion doctrine.

Event #2: Rami shows Tim that weird woven lace from the 1930's. Lace from the 1930's?! Who does that?!

During the model casting, I was bored out of my mind, until Christian declared he wanted dark-skinned models. What a racist! Then we had extra long make-up planning techno montages!!

side note: I'm currently multi-tasking, writing this during the commercial breaks of LOST...damn that's a good show.

Alright. Enough dilly-dally. Let's get to the final collections:

Jillian - First of all, don't curtsy. All my friends may think you're cute as a button, but I don't. Your collection was an odd collection of green armor and jockey outfits, business suits and yarn balls, goddess dresses and reverse elbow cut-outs. Posh Spice is not feeling any of that!

Rami - Your color selection is weird. It looks like you chose your color scheme from this kid's Trapper Keeper. But you got back on track with the M.C. Escher-inspired cocktail dress. That was cool. Then, you went all Christmas Eve dress on us for a while, before ending with the two best dresses of the night.

Christian - Hats. Black. Hats. Black. And then you break out the Santa Claus! And marshmallow fluff dresses! It's like we're back to the Hershey's challenge! And then, then, you bring out the cowardly lion dress. We saw the pants last week, and now it's an entire dress.

Now, truth be told, I made terrible predictions from the start of this season (unlike one friend who guessed two of the final three and the eventual winner after the 1st episode). But, after the final four was called, I was confident that Chris March would not make it to Bryant Park, and Jillian would lose to Rami who would lose to Christian. So I'm gonna pat myself on the back for that. Pat. Pat. Pat.

But you know, I've come to realize that if I could accurately predict the outcomes of these shows, it would sort of defeat the purpose of this blog. And I can't disappoint my reader(s).

So the search begins for a new show that covers a topic I know nothing about. I am open to suggestions. Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant? Redneck Wedding? Drake and Josh? I'm up for anything!

Because my friends, this may be the end of Project Runway Season 4, but the end has no end:


Dirk Calloway said...

My vote for the next series of recaps is the new season of "Top Chef" kicking off next week from Chicago. Keep it in the Bravo family.

Ross McLochness said...

I still don't get it, and Michael Kors's flippy little comments don't help.

Are these clothes supposed to be wearable, or are they just art?

Also, I don't like how Christian can say anything he wants - like telling a model not to eat - and get away with it just by lisping.

I was suckered though. There was a time when I thought Rami would win.

I vote you start taking stabs - get it - at whether or not the Memphis PD will solve the case on The First 48.

Anonymous said...

I adored your Project Runway comments, [though they made me feel like an idiot for ever giving Christian that fierce attention he had been fighting for throughout the season] but I really think you should critic a show totally off base. Gossip Girl? [never seen it, but hey, its something new] or maybe even Million Dollar Match maker or Real Housewives of Some Big City, both of which would definitly surprise me with your views.

also, i found it funny how you never commented on jillian's manner's of talking. It annoyed the hell outta me, yet I dont know if you even noticed! tis ok though!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I came up with an amazing show for you to critic., maybe because I like it so much. Jon and Kate Plus 8, its that big family with a set of twins and sextuplets. [sp?] It might be hard to critic, but I believe in ya.

Ross McLochness said...

Yes, please watch John and Kate Plue 8 and predict how many times I contemplate strangling a child during each episode.