Thursday, March 20, 2008

Y'all gon' make me act a fool up in here, up in here

We're months away from figuring out who will claim top spot in the fiasco that will be the Democratic Presidential nomination, and the stakes are getting higher. Voters are researching each candidate's positions, analyzing speeches, pastors, and more speeches, and of course, listening to what celebrities tell them to do. Perhaps you've found yourself in a moment of quiet reflection, wondering "Who would DMX vote for?" Wonder no more. The answer is clear. DMX is an idiot.

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.


What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?

What the fuck is a Barack, indeed. I also enjoy the first part of the interview where DMX reveals that he has no idea how he ended up on his current record label.

One man who clearly knows Obama's name is Late Night With Conan O'Brien writer Jon Glaser, who has thrown his hat into the "political song" ring, with this offering that puts Will.I.Am to shame.

Finally, in the interest of equal time, John McCain's daughter has been publishing her playlists from the campaign trail, giving some play to The Pieces, and revealing that The Dead Milkmen changed her life. People, will you please join me in a moratorium on announcing that band X has changed your life? Every band that I enjoy has changed my life, but for the love of Zach Braff, it should go without saying. Oh how I wish it went without saying...

This DMX interview, however, has totally changed my life.

1 comment:

Ross McLochness said...

Is that Indianapolis's own Pieces?