Pro Run Ep 2 - Grass Is Always Greener

I'm glad to see that their bitterness in losing Project Runway to Lifetime hasn't caused Bravo to abandon its formula for reality competition shows. Like clockwork, we get the opening scene of "the next morning" and the contestants lamenting the departure of their dear friend who they had known for 20 hours. Alas, the show must go on.

This week, the competition required the designers to use green materials (eco-green, not hue-green). But that aspect seemed to be more about limiting their options than saving the planet. And their clients, the models, really didn't add much to the challenge (isn't that the client nearly every week?). But the designers lost their collective s*** when they were told that the model would do the shopping. This is a prime example of how because I know nothing about fashion and/or design, I didn't really understand what the fuss was about. Luckily, I was watching the show with an fashion designer (yes, I have a tutor this season!), and she assured me that, yes, their lost s*** was indeed warranted. You don't ask the customer (instead of the cook) to buy the ingredients for their meal.

But I digress. On to the designs:

Blayne – A bit too 'Tiffany Mall Tour '87" for me, but a solid, middle of the road effort (this tends you get you fairly far in this game). But a word of warning: stop being to be this year's Christian Soriano. It's almost as annoying as Christian Soriano. Plus, Amy Poehler has that down pat.


Daniel – The whole pockets-in-a-dress thing still sits weird with me. It looks like the girl is thinking "harumph." Still, it could legitimately be worn, so you're in the top half for sure.

Emily – I can’t think of anything to make fun of on this one….i guess that means it’s good.


Jerell – I’ve never seen a hooker from the Ukraine, but I think you just made a Ukranian hooker dress.


Jennifer – The kindergarten teacher strikes again! Orange and silver: you can’t rhyme them with anything, but dammit if they don’t go together well on this dress (morange and bilver?....no).


Joe – Yawn…..oh wait, you put a hole in the middle of it….yawn.


Keith – Did you mean to create the appearance of an ultra-hip diaper by making a floor-length dress, then lifting it all up and safety pinning it? Because that’s what you did.


Kelli – Sorry dude, I’m not down with the asymmetrical blue piece in the middle. Don’t make me compare you to Denise Huxtable.


Kenley – Atta girl. This one doesn’t beat anyone over the head with innovation, but it doesn’t give you anything to critique. Atta girl.


Korto – If you break down because you were in the final three, you have no shot making it through many more rounds. You should study up on the Santino method (be in the bottom three every other episode, but act like your s*** don’t stink, and the producers will demand that you stay) .


Leanne – Yeah, YOU’RE the Denise Huxtable of this group (to my faithful readers, yes. This is the 2nd time I've used this clip. So I'm lazy). Oh, and your model looked like the tin man had been recast as the copper man. Why don't you cry about it.


Stella – I don’t think I’ve ever disagreed with the judges more. When they teased to the commercial break with the judges saying something to the effect of “short, tight, and shiny is the quickest way to looking cheap,” I was sure they were talking about this dress. Apparently Michael Kors and Nina Garcia are working on costuming for the Boogie Nights' sequel...or Dancing with the Stars...or Def Leppard's drummer (too soon?).


Suede – Was your dress deserving of the top three? Definitely. Was it the best one? I’m not so sure. But apparently Natalie Portman had a lot of swing as the guest judge (and with the band Ozma). I will say this: that dress doesn’t look easy to make, and you didn’t bitch as much as most designers do on this show when they make something difficult. That bodes well for you in the rest of the competition.


Terri – I didn’t have to think very hard while looking at this dress….maybe that’s why it was my favorite.


Wesley – You have disgraced the good name of your mentor, Marc Jacobs. He’ll probably relapse to his dorky ways of the past. Or he’ll just spank you.

So, my favorite three designs for this challenge: (1) Terri (2) Kenley (3) Emily

And now….for my selection of who I think will make it to the final three (assuming Bravo doesn’t wuss out as in seasons past and have a final four): Kenley. Suede. Emily.

The next to go: Korto (the goddess of unflattering dresses)