Thursday, July 17, 2008

Pro Run Ep 1 (Updated)

Well, kiddos, I have some good news and some bad news:

The good news: Team "$10 Says He Eats It" was victorious at Mass Ave Trivia Night, thanks to our knowledge of songs about the moon and what scatophobics are afraid of.

The bad news: Trivia was rudely scheduled during the premiere of Pro Run (that's right, I've jumped on the abbrev. band wag.), and my videocassette recorder was on the fritz. I was able to catch the 2nd half of the show, so I've seen the designs, but know very little about the designers. I didn't get to see the character establishment sections, the race to materials (I'm assuming they once again started with a race of some type), and the first contestant to start talking smack (based on their pictures, I'm gonna guess ít was Jerell, the former model).

ANYWAY, I'll have to do this blog in a few pieces. First, I'll give my take on the designs themselves. Then, once I'm able to track down the episode online or in reruns (Though Bravo is on a big Shear Genius kick), I'll make my predictions for the season.

In the meantime, my boy Ross sent me a quick observation regarding Wesley:
"Watching Pro-Run tonight and couldn't help noticing that Wesley looks like he's in the Hitler Youth."

OK. I know that the first challenge was to use materials from a grocery store (this was actually the first challenge in Season 1 as well). But I didn't really see what materials they chose. I'm sure that won't stop me from bashing the designs:

Kenley – looks like you might be this year's Kit Pistol (which means I will fall in love with you because you're cute and your clothes are almost weird, but not completely weird)

Terri – When I was 9 years old, I bought a t-shirt in a Myrtle Beach gift shop that was pre-ripped and said "Shark Attack" in fake blood. Apparently, you found that same shirt in the grocery store. Also, I'm amazed they make fruit roll-ups the side of a skirt!

Suede – I guess you don't have to be able to dress yourself in order to dress a model

Emily – I never knew an Easter basket strangling someone could look so chic

Leanne - Did you let cottonball-wielding preschoolers make your dress? If so, they need to be held back.

Jennifer – Spill in Aisle 9. Quick! Have your model roll around on the floor!

Jerell – if the NBC peacock was a drag queen, it’d wear this

Keith – At next year's Indy 500, they'll drop the checkered model

Wesley – A Coldplay song, in fabric form!

Joe – Mismatched patterns: I can't get behind that (and neither can my bleeding retinas).

Korto – Hey, look! A Japanese dumpster diver!

Daniel – I think Joan Cusack wore that dress in TOYS

Blayne – for someone who obviously isn’t into vagina, you sure like to draw attention to it

Jerry – did your model steal plutonium from the Libyans?

Kelli – I'm biased because I don't drink coffee, but this is a prime example of a dress that the judges love and I hate. The lesson: Those judges know nothing about what they've dedicated their lives to. I know everything about something I've dedicated nothing to.

Stella - Hey, look! A Dominatrix dumpster diver!

My favorite three from this challenge: Kenley, Daniel, Keith

My predictions for the season will be added when I get a chance to see the whole episode...


Ross McLochness said...
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Ross McLochness said...

"They found me. I don't know how, but they found me. Run for it, Marty"
"Who? Who?"
"Who do you think? The LIBYANS!"

Maybe they found you because you've lived in the same town for THIRTY frickin' years!

My hope is that the next challenge will start at the Twin Pines/Lone Pine Mall.