Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Stuart Scott is put in his place

Whenever my Bristol past comes up in conversations, people inevitably ask about what anchors are like 'behind the scenes.' Friends of my parents always want to know about Chris Berman (although I'm sure they don't want to know everything about Boomer.) With people closer to my age, I'm asked about Stuart Scott more than any other anchor. He's clearly the most polarizing personality on the air at ESPN. Some people hate him, some people like him, but they can all want to know what he's like off the air. (They also all inevitably ask, "What's the deal with his eye? It looks like it's ready to fall off his face!")

I like to tell people there are two Stu Scotts. Stuart is a hard-working guy, good for an occassional joke, constantly trying to pack each on-camera appearance with as much information as possible. His alter ago (who we'll call Stu-yah, get it?) is moody and difficult, whether he's rambling through an excrutiating on-air poetry slam while a Cardinals-Panthers highlight plays in the background or mouthing off to a PA whose writing on a highlight sheet is not large enough for what's left of Stu-yah's eyesight to decipher.

Weighing in today on the debate of whether to love or hate Stu is acoustic rap act (you read that correctly) Something to Ponder. We were sent a link to their song, entitled "F U Stuart Scott." Try to guess their opinion of Stu! You can listen to the song HERE (or at the link at the bottom), but if you're at work put on headphones because Something to Ponder will not be censored! And I wouldn't want to get busted by Sally the killjoy temp in the cubicle next-door.

The song - which is quite terrible, and without the charm to pull of the "so terrible, it's good" moniker that Nelly Furtado's single has recently claimed - accuses Stuart Scott of being a sell-out and claiming that he "thinks he's hip-hop, but he is not." The laundry list of disses is delivered without mercy. They are by far the harshest commentary I've ever heard made by terrible rappers over a Jack Johnson-esque guitar riff. If "Hit 'Em Up" is the greatest diss song in history (which it is), then Something to Ponder have placed themselves right at 2pac's heels (and 2pac never even referenced the other side of the pillow!) Naturally, image plays a big part in the delivery of the message, and this fact is hammered home by taking a look at the authentic hip-hop visage displayed by Something to Ponder:

I salute you, Something to Ponder, for taking this bold stand. In an age where so many musical artists are afraid to speak out on social issues, it's about time someone took a stand on the important issues facing America, and the B-list celebrities who just aren't keeping it real. As for your next scathing diss song, may I suggest you go after the cast of ABC's According to Jim, the Aflac duck, or Ben Vereen. They all need to be put in their place.

Listen at Something to Ponder's myspace page

1 comment:

Eric B. said...

Nice tune, but there's no diss song in history that can hold a candle to the Warlock Pinchers' "Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse." It delivers everything the title promises, and oh so much more.