Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Call me Naismith

I don't know how this has slipped under the sports media at-large, but today's events will change the lives of sixty...uh, athletes?

The Championship Gaming Series will hold their six team, 60 player draft to launch the newest league for sports fans to drool about. The new league will have "franchises" in San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Dallas, and one representing the Carolinas.

New sports league rule #1: Always make sure both Carolinas are aptly represented. Remember the USFL? I didn't think so.

The amazing thing is that the league will have a payroll of $5 million with each draftee receiving at least $30,000. Not too bad if you're 18-year-old Kevin Parrish of Centerville, IN. He's been at the gamer combine - you heard me, the combine - and has been ranked as high as fourth and seems to be a dead lock for Dallas, unless the Carolinas trade up to get sophomore phenom Chip "Thumbzilla" Jacobs out of Our Lady of Good Posture Memorial High in Reno.

Parrish's family is ecstatic that he could get paid to play video games, but they're going to make him go to college anyway. His older brother Nick accompanied him to the combine at Fox Studios in LA and says Kevin had some early bumps in the clean and jerk, but tore up Project Gotham Racing 3 and more than tripled Vince Young's Wonderlic score. Both Parrish boys are certain Kevin can have a sustained career if he improves his FIFA 2007 skills and avoids another case of Wiiitis.

The CGS has a TV deal with DirectTV, virtually shoring up a spot ahead of the NHL for viewers. The only thing missing are team nicknames. Do they go with the animal and invader heavy archetype of the NFL or the abstract unmeasurable style of the WNBA? "And that 3 from the Shock oughtta do it. Down go the Liberty."

I for one want to cheer for the Los Angeles HotBox, Dallas Memory Chips, San Franciso Wristers, and the Carolina Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Select Starts. They're old school.

And if my accountant buddy doesn't screw me like he does every year, I should be able to get Kevin Parrish in the fantasy draft this fall.

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