"Project Runway Perfume: a mixture of tears, sweat, and Chinese Food"

Now that's was a challenge I could get behind!

Most of the challenges this year have been unimaginative to say the least. “Design whatever you want with top-of-the-line material!” “That toga is brilliant!” “Make something for a man!” “That striped shirt is brilliant!”

But last night, there were a few curveballs that worked will with this challenge:

Curveball #1: It’s always fun to have a good model sweep. Any designer that switches models is immediately labeled a fiendish cutthroat who will do anything to win (and by anything, I mean take Ricky’s long-nosed model…good work Jack). And of course, it’s the only reminder that apparently the models are apparently contestants too.

Curveball #2: I liked that the teaser from Heidi stated that they’d see some “old” friends, which made the contestants imagine making clothing for senior citizens, which led to the reveal of…Nina Garcia (you old bag)! Having to use the old trends of pleather, cut-outs, fringe, and all the other evil spirits of clothing trends past is a great idea…in theory (more on that later).

Curveball #3: Pick your own teams! The team challenges guarantee friction, and to have an unorganized group formation seemed to assure that someone would be standing alone in a corner, toes pointed in, head lowered, wondering if this is why they don’t have anyone to sit with a lunch. And I assume that because of time issues, Bravo edited it out. I will go ahead and assume that Ricky cried during this process.

The teams:

Christian, Kit, Jack: My favorite contestant teams up with what I hoped would become her arch rival (for the love of God, Christian: please stop twirling in the dresses you make!)? And then teams up with the guy that probably leaving the show next week (based on the emotional Tim Gunn huddle promoted for next week)? Luckily they didn’t drag her down too much. They giggled their way through the two-day design. Christian gave them a ridiculous nickname (with an even more ridiculous 14-year-old-girl explanation of said nickname). They did an admirable job of incorporating their three ugly trends into each outfit, but they were toned down so much they became boring. Boring colors. Boring lines. Boring silhouettes (sounds like I know what I’m talking about, huh?). Still, none of them hurt their rankings.

Jillian, Rami, Kevin: Well, this only proves what I have suspected of Jillian from the beginning. She’d probably be better off as a model. She obviously inspired the two top guy designers to create solid outfits from really difficult ugly trends (overalls, poodle skirts, etc.), and since she was the “leader,” it definitely advanced her position. Kevin’s work-til-the-buzzer approach only shows that he has the talent and calm nature needed to deal with the pressure situation that will come in the future. He’s my LEAD PIPE LOCK for the final three. That said, I thought all their outfits looked like costumes from Oklahoma!, which only goes to once again prove that I know nothing about the subject I’m criticizing.

Chris, Steven, Sweet P: Alright. First of all, Steven, your Tim Gunn impression sucks. It’s nowhere near Santino's, and I bet our good friend Ross McLochness would blow you out of the water. You belong on some horrible impersonation show. Now, this group’s fatal flaw came when they chose to have color unite the three looks. Apparently that was a bad idea. I would have done that. But I completely disagree with Chris being eliminated. Now, truth be told, he wasn’t going to last much longer, and would be back to making drag queen dresses for himself (I’m assuming) in no time, but most of their criticisms for his shoulder pads were that shoulder pads weren’t stylish. They looked weird. Obtuse. Out of place. Really? Huh. Then why did you tell him to use them? Out of all of the ugly trends, shoulder pads had the least amount of flexibility or room for interpretation. You can’t tone them down. I suppose you could exaggerate them, but that would have a Legion of Doom-like outfit. Anyway, they probably just eliminated Chris because he was the fat chick.

Ricky, Victorya, Elise: Who knew Victorya could end up being the passive aggressive bitch of the season? I didn’t see that coming. But maybe she just seemed like a passive aggressive bitch because Ricky is just a little bitch (can you tell I’m angry that I’ve picked him to leave for three weeks straight, and he’s been in the bottom two, only to survive because the judges disregard the inherent difficulties of the challenges?). But as much as Victorya obviously thinks Ricky is a moron, she saved him from leaving when she gave him shout-out during judging regarding the change in fit on her model. Personally, I thought Elisa’s dress looked like a doll dress made of construction paper that was four sizes too big for the doll. But the fact that she’s still around and hasn’t done anything to rival her “pooing fabric” dress of the first episode is the biggest surprise.

So, my current top three: Kevin, Rami, Kit

The next to go: If I say Ricky, he’ll stay. So I won’t say Ricky (but I’ll think it)

PS: Is it just me, or is the show so much better when Heidi isn’t pregnant with another baby seal?

PPS: Random side note: Jack’s boyfriend is Dale from Top Chef. Do you think Bravo has a commune somewhere that they pull all of their contestants from? Maybe that’s what’s really going on in Lost!

PPPS: Did you watch that youtube clip of the Legion of Doom wrestling earlier in the post? I counted at least 5 ugly fashion trends in that ring alone!