Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The True Election

The facial crusaders from the American Mustache Institute are looking to name the greatest sports mustache of all time, and unlike our current presidential race there aren't enough runners.

The AMI list includes the requisite Rollie Fingers and Goose Gossage, but it's the inclusion of that follicle abomination that lives on Adam Morrison's lip that scares the hell out of me, much more than another YouTube presidential debate.

If that squirrel on Morrison's face is allowed to climb the podium of facial hair then democracy as we know it has foundered and the Rapture is upon us. There are too many sports legends more deserving than the ironically popular Morrison molest-tache.

I urge all who read this to vote early and often and to offer your write-in votes for candidates too obviously snubbed.
Bobby Rahal

Joe Tiller

Dave Wannstedt

Larry Bird

Diana Taurasi


monkey said...

does a headstach count?

Ross McLochness said...

Yet again, Drew Gooden locks us all in a philosophical quandary.