1. Holy shit, I'm old.
2. Why isn't Fox Sports Midwest making a bigger deal about this? It would be great to have a flashback each game with highlights of the corresponding game from the 1990 season. Which would you rather see - highlights of Paul O'Neill winning a game with a walk-off single, or more replays of Joey Votto striking out twice a game?
3. I AM OLD. AND WHERE'S QUINONES?
In an attempt to feed my nostalgic hunger, I discovered something amazing. I don't know how it came to be that I had never seen this video before, but now that I have, I can't imagine I ever lived in a world that did not include the glorious rhymes of B-Lark and The Homeboys.
Good heavens, where do I start? Paul O'Neill gets things off to a rousing start, and honestly looks like he's reading a statement in a POW video. Seriously, this is the face of a man who is blinking in morse code for help.
While hearing B-Lark take the mic, I find myself puzzled. Obviously the video does not match the audio on the track, but the audio has some sense of vocal inflection, and you would think that when recording the video portion, he might appear slightly life-like, but no such luck.
But let's move to Eric Davis and his RIDICULOUS READING GLASSES! What is happening there? They're so distracting that I barely notice his entire acid-washed wardrobe. He must have won those frames in a dance off with that spaz that shows up at the end of the "Beat It" video.
If there's one aspect of the 1990 Reds that truly separates them from any other team in history, it has to be the Nasty Boys. Aside from closers, there's no such thing as a stud pitcher in a major league bullpen, and yet this team had three of them who were not only great, but became oddly famous as well. And as great as they were on the mound, they were equally as AWFUL when trying to speak in rhythm! But I do appreciate the guy attempting to "conduct" on the left of the screen.
Remaining highlights include Billy Hatcher rapping with the ferocity of Jim Caldwell, Mariano Duncan wearing pants up to his nipples while paraphrasing MC Hammer, and of course, the obvious appeal of Chris Sabo lisping all over the studio in a manner that makes you wonder if this whole thing was a cruel prank on Spuds.**
I'm just sayin'...
Kids, please listen to the 1990 Cincinnati Reds - say no to drugs, AND say no to crack. We can all win the World Series of life. Take it from Jose Rijo's sunglasses.
**Further evidence of the team ganging up on Spuds happens in the post-music video portion of the clip, where the 1990 team appears at a reunion from last year. All players are wearing their jerseys EXCEPT for Sabo. I believe it's because he got bad advice from everyone else in regards to wardrobe. In actuality, he probably forgot it at home. Ob La Di, Ob La Da