Saturday, January 03, 2009

Vacant patriotism no longer just for country singers!

Attention America,

Beyonce must be stopped. The sooner, the better.

There are obviously hundreds of points to be made here, but I'll limit it to three for the sake of sanity.

1. I have an uneasy feeling that this will be sung in Washington D.C. on January 20, but I hope I'm wrong. Think of your cooler musician friends, Obama! Exhibit A:

2. I was wondering how she would handle the "children and my wife" reference at the beginning. I expected a lame cop out, and my expectations were met. Jack White maintains his stranglehold on faithful covers with no fear of gender bending.

3. I've said several times over that David Cross has the best interpretation of the original recording. Memorize the rant below, repeat it word for word to your colleagues, and watch your small talk change permanently!

1 comment:

Ross McLochness said...

I believe there's a movement afoot to have Lee Greenwood's face added to Mt. Rushmore.

Honestly, I take my life in my own hands to tell people that I hate this song.