Go back and listen to "Daughters," bitches.

My friend Andy and I have a paradoxal theory:

John Mayer is the biggest douchebag in music and John Mayer is the coolest celebrity around.

Here's how we came to this conclusion. It's really quite simple. Anything related to John Mayer's music is evidence that he's a douchebag. His Dave Matthews impression (also known as his career). His weird guitar faces. His "I used these songs to get Berkeley girls to sleep with me, and then used them to get Jessica Simpson to sleep with me" lyrics. He's a douchebag. That much is clear.

But he's also the coolest celebrity. Almost any time John Mayer is on television, doing something not related to music, I love it. He's funny. He's cynical. He doesn't take his music seriously. If it weren't for that damn music career, he might replace Zach Braff as my man-crush.

And so, I submit video evidence of Mayer's appeal. It's mostly comedic, which makes sense since he's apparently an aspiring comedian.

Allow me to walk you through the playlist of his comedic stylings:



Clip 1: White People Dancing

The best part of this skit from Chappelle's Show is that Mayer doesn't talk. And even though he plays music, it's merely a prop for Chappelle's comedy. And Mayer clearly knows his role. He's a prop.

Clip 2: Kanye West and John Mayer recording "Bittersweet"

Now, here John spreads his wings. It seems that this was supposed to be some 2-minute blurb on Kanye's latest collaboration (that wouldn't make it on the album), and Mayer decided to narrate a fairly predictable "white guy/black guy awkwardness" skit. But it works well, especially when he grabs Kanye's necklace. My guess is that when the scene cut, he was bitchslapped for that.

Clip 3:Chocolate Rain remix by John Mayer

If there's anything I love more than Project Runway, It's Best Week Ever. And apparently John Mayer wandered onto the set just in time to make fun of that weird Chocolate Rain clip. The genius of this was mashing it up with a Nelly Furtado song. And lord know I'm a sucker for an ironic Nelly Furtado cover!

Clip 4: John Mayer speaks Japanese

It's just great to see a celebrity not pretend to be friends with the red carpet pests. The fact that Ryan Seacrest is the next Dick Clark (and will tell teenie boppers what music to listen to and when the clock has struck midnight for generations to come) does not require everyone to accept his meaningless and personally invasive small talk. As John says, "Be a man."

Clip 5: John Mayer on kazoo

Ok, again, there's a small connection to music on this one. And honestly, part of why I like this clip is how on-pitch his kazoo playing is. Have you ever tried to hit notes on a kazoo? Try it. I dare you. The one thing that could completely ruin this clip for me is the possibility that the Celine Dion request was planned, and not spur of the moment. Sadly, that's probably the case.

Clip 6: John Mayer on "The Paul Reddy Show"

It's a long clip, but it's worth it. Apparently it's some extra on a Mayer dvd, but if you like The Michael Showalter Showalter, you'll like this.

Clip 7: Alicia Keys and John Mayer commercial

This sparked the discussion that led to the theory. Andy and I were watching a show (it may or may not have been a bisexual reality dating show), and these Alicia Keys skits would start each commercial break. And when the person in the bunny costume was revealed, we knew we had something.

But yeah, his music totally sucks.