The Perfect Match

Last week, IFC aired a four-part series focusing on sex in indie cinema. The series was nicely put together, though I don't get the promotional department's fixation with Dita Von Teese. However, there's always an inherent problem with any docs that give blanket approval in celebrating every film that tests certain limits. Just because a writer/director pushes boundaries with a provocative idea, if the movie itself isn't good, that's a problem, and that idea is pushed to the background here. Midnight Cowboy and Last Tango in Paris were groundbreaking as classic rated X films, but putting them in the same category with the "look how shocking we're being!" efforts of Kids and The Brown Bunny just seems...short-sighted.

However, IFC is not finished with their exploration of taboo sex on film. In fact, they've made themselves the home for the most independent of all sex-with-underaged-kids filmmakers around.

Starting today, each day at IFC.com will reveal a new chapter of R. Kelly's never ending "Trapped in the Closet" anthology. According to IFC's VP, it's a natural fit:

Call me crazy (or obsessed), I find something in Trapped that makes it a natural next step in this experiment. While it might not be on the scale of Midnight Cowboy, in its own iconoclastic, pop-culture way, Trapped in the Closet challenges the traditional mores and sexual stereotypes of the current climate as boldly -- and hysterically -- as many films coming out of Hollywood or the indie movement. The cheating women, the closeted preacher, the pop star hiding in the closet, the adulterous midget with a paternity problem -- Kelly makes a case to carry the mantle of John Waters into the new millennium. You may laugh, but you can't look away.

Chapter 13 debuts today featuring an elderly couple wishing bird shit-related misfortune on each other, the protagonist telling time, and R. Kelly watching the video himself and acting way too amused, while a hipster film critic smiles nervously. Indie cinema at it's finest. Take some pointers, Waters.

Chapters 13-22. (New chapter each day.)

The Plot Thickens...With Cash?

As if your Monday sucked.

Former Colts quaterback Jack Trudeau appeared in Boone County court today following his arrest after hosting a party for his daughter and some of her fellow graduates of Park Tudor High School at his suburban Indianapolis home.

Despite his efforts to provide a safe haven for teenage drinking - making all kids sign in, camp in his backyard, and hand over their keys (was this a party or a reenactment of The Ice Storm?) - Trudeau still faces those pesky charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and now a felony charge of obstructing justice since the sign-in list can't seem to be found. Now that's a no-snitching policy Carmelo Anthony could get behind.

Yet, the emerging detail that's getting most of my attention - beyond the empty half gallon of vodka, beer bong, and only 30 of 127 beers opened (evidently Trudeau hadn't started drinking when the cops arrived) - is a little request made to police.

According to WTHR's report, Trudeau beseeched the officers asking, "What do we have to do to make this go away?"

Most likely Trudeau was expecting a response of 'I'm gonna tie my shoes, and if I stand up and don't see 12 drunk kids or any beer cans, me and Deputy Manning are gonna go elsewhere about our business. Go Colts!"

But whose to say conjecture and hearsay aren't pointing in a monetary direction? Hell, he already sprang for the beer bong. What's a few more clams to grease the wheels?

Jack Trudeau is the Cool Dad

This won't be good for his coaching career.

Former University of Illinois and Colts quaterback Jack Trudeau was arrested for providing alcohol to a host of high school kids at his home in Zionsville, an Indianapolis suburb.

This is a doubly dipshit move considering 1) the NFL just extended its ban on providing alcohol to players to include flights and team events - a rule that presupposes those players are 21 - and 2) Jonathon Pavey, a Zionsville high school athlete remains in critical condition after a one-car accident last week resulting in large part from his being drunk. (Trudeau's partiers attend Park Tudor High School, Pavey attended Zionsville Community High School.)

In response to the Pavey incident, Boone County sheriff Ken Campbell said, "We will find out who supplied this young man with the alcohol and prosecute to the fullest extent of the law." Looks like Trudeau might need to find a replacement for that 3rd and 4th grade team he's coaching.

The article details how Trudeau has not always been the friendliest to law enforcement. My favorite part is when he refuses access to his home demanding a warrant. Know what the cops did? They got a damn warrant and searched the shit out of Trudeau's place.

I would have loved to see Trudeau's reaction when he realized the cops called his bluff and in the meantime he didn't get the kids to clear out except those that were hiding in his woods, which were all apprehended and charged with resisting law enforcement. Touchdown!