Finally, an Expert

After being overwhelmed by numerous e-mails arguing plotlines like whether or not the Bears blitz enough or if the Colts' no-huddle will have its desired effect, Bad Idea Blue Jeans is pleased to hear the insights of someone with unmatched perspective. "Too much f*cking perspective" (nod to David St. Hubbins).
That's Edna Parker, the United States' oldest citizen and three months or a dead Japanese woman short of being the oldest person on the planet Earth. She'll turn the big 1-1-4 on April 20th of this year. She's a graduate of Franklin College and a resident of the Heritage House Convalescent Center in Shelbyville, Indiana and damn it, she's a Colts fan.

Edna was born April 20, 1893 when Grover Cleveland was in his second non-consecutive term as president. She's lived through 20 presidents and was a paltry 73 years old when Bart Starr won the first Super Bowl with the Packers, and she's been a widow for only 68 years. Shit, that's old.

Frankly, Edna is well and done with talk of good Rex vs. bad Rex and the business of Peyton Manning's monkey. She doesn't care how many times you've looked at the Bears' Cover 2 or Peyton's line-of-scrimmage gesticulations, damn it she's seen it all and she's made up her mind. She's lived a life full of bacon and lard, doesn't shy away from salt, and she's got one message for all you inferiorty complex ridden mooks from Chicago...

Go Colts, Go!

Colts vs. Bears? Let Hip Hop Decide

Not to leave any stone unturned, Indy's own Mudkids have dropped some lines in praise of the Colts. They recruited Colts man-on-the-street Zack Legend to lend some production.

The highlight has to be the guy doing the "mime trapped in a box" on the steps of the RCA Dome with 1:11 remaining. Also, I admit I love the lyrical stylings of "a draw to Addai." That's poetry.

As of yet, there's been no response from Lil' Ronnie or Jim McMahon.

Middle Ground Hard to Find for Super Bowl

Much is being made of the Super Bowl XLI matchup that pits two teams linked by I-65. Indianapolis and Chicago are about 180 miles apart leaving many folks stradling an imaginary loyalty line, a McMahon/Harbaugh storied and ages old.

Where that fabled halfway point lies is up to some heated debate. Three towns are currently claiming to sport the line where you stop walking out of Bears country and start into Colts territory.

Say hello to Fowler, Remington, and the ever-popular Battle Ground.

All three towns are in northwestern Indiana. Fowler claims 2,271 souls and surprisingly Remington and Battle Ground both have 1,323 folks so the rivalry is already ripe (although that's based on Wikipedia). However, this debate is measured in miles and those are at a premium.

Remington is front page news in the Indianapolis Star with its thoroughfare - aptly named Division Street - keeping it 91.15 miles from the RCA Dome and 91.82 miles from UFO-Soldier Field.

Battle Ground - thanks mainly to bad math by WTHR - has been claimed to be "exactly half way between Chicago and Indianapolis." From there it's riding the coattails of a name gained through some military action by everyone's favorite one-month president, William Henry Harrison.

However, I've got to give my money to Fowler and the 100 Mile Rib & Chop House. The 100 Mile House is an institution around those parts named for its equidistance from Indianapolis and Chicago. To its credit they serve up a mean tenderloin and in turn will gain the most financial return by again getting its name in the paper. If there's anything to learn from this debate, there's money to be made.

What does it all mean? Not too much. Three towns get their names and resident media whores i, the news. The Colts continue to gain dominance in fan loyalty throughout its home state. And Indiana's own Rex Grossman has been voted the worst Super Bowl quarterback of all time.

Enjoy the ride.