Killer Crossovers Need Not Apply

Tim Hardaway has come out...so to speak...thoroughly against the gays.

When asked about the prospect of confronting a gay teammate, Hardy has to say

"First of all I wouldn’t want him on my team. Second of all, if he was on my team I would really distance myself from him because I don’t think that’s right and I don’t think he should be in the locker room when we’re in the locker room.”

Seriously? There used to be three groups you could unequivocally malign in public: gays, fat people, and Catholics. Somewhere between Queer Eye and Neil Patrick Harris, homosexuals eked off of that list. Has anyone really been accosted by gay men in the workplace lately? Has there been a documented case of the queerbies breaking in, sculpting your hair and raising your property value with a devilish intent?

You know what's entirely troubling? Most gay men and women would read the previous paragraph and laugh - if only considerately - at the humor involved, and Tim Hardaway couldn't even stomach past "queerbie."

Get over yourself.

You Are the Father!

Not only is TNT NBA reporter Craig Sager the master of horrendously colored suits and renaming shots, but he's also a paternity expert, as he displayed during Thursday's Lakers/Pistons duel.



Way to hog multiple dads, Webber. Spread the wealth with that (probably) fatherless bastard Ray Jackson, why don't you? To be fair, you can't really blame Sager for the mix-up. According to the NCAA, Webber's birth certificate has been erased from the record books, and it's like he was never even born.

Where's My Keys

Today was not a good day.

I had to call a tow truck after stopping at the post office on my way home from work and realizing my car had no intention of restarting. This was overly upsetting considering the amount of work I'd had performed in the past week. It sure as hell better be just a bad distributor cap.

Lucky for me though, the ride with the tow truck operator was a decent one full of good conversation and insight on everything from how this guy is too tall to drive the flatbed to the misadventures of Jamaal Tinsley.

Evidently the Pacers point guard is a frequent customer of this towing service. In fact, earlier the same day, before my car crapped out, Jamaal Tinsley had a flat tire while at Indianapolis's most upscale hotel, The Conrad. My Midwestern intuition got the better part of me and the following abridged conversation tripped between me and the tow truck operator.

RMcL: "You mean Jamaal Tinsley doesn't know how to change a flat tire."

TTO: "It's not like that. He's got a brand new Yukon with 24" rims. He doesn't have a spare."

RMcL: "I guess they don't make 24" doughnuts."

TTO: "Yeah, he's always calling us. He's locked his keys in this car like three times."

RMcL: "So did he ride in the truck like a schmuck...kinda like I'm doing now?"

TTO: "He was long gone. Probably went to practice. The valet had the keys and told me Tinsley would be at Firestone at 5:00 to pick it up."

So if you're ever in downtown Indianapolis and see a brand new Yukon with 24" rims running with the doors locked be sure to look around. Odds are there's a #11 patting his pockets and thumbing a ride.

Sure, he can dish out over 6 assists a game, but he can't remember it's keys first then lock the door.