Success At Last

You've been playing this game since the pee-wee league in the park.

You took your high school team to unexpected heights.

You parlayed that college scholarship into numerous accolades and even got yourself drafted into the upper echelon on football.

But you're still not at the top...until you become a verb.

That's right, Michael Vick is now a verb (not too shocking considering Vick's previously fast and loose use of language).

Someone at Franklin Central High School in Indianapolis posted a banner that read "Vick the Bulldogs" ahead of their football contest against the Columbus North Bulldogs. By the way, Franklin Central are the Flashes. Intimidating indeed. All this and the Flashes got Vicked up the ass 42-14.

Let this lapse in judgment serve as Michael Vick's final foray into famedom. He is truly an ath-lebrity of the nth degree. It reminds me of a trip to a fireworks store circa 1996 when the man thumbing through bins of bottle rockets ahead of me was wearing a t-shirt that read, "Shut up, bitch, before I O.J. your ass."

Other great celebri-verbs

• "Friends don't let friend drink and Billy Martin."
• "I'm gonna have to hit the teaser card unless I want to Pete Rose my paycheck."
• "I've got this job nailed. I totally George O'Leary-ed my resume with a PhD from Dartmouth."
• How'd you do on finals? "Jim Harrick-ed my way to a 3.8, beyotch!"
• "My landlord was gonna put my ass on the streets of Ann Arbor until my dad went all Ed Martin and bailed me out."