2010 Oscars Live Blog

I just watched Ryan Seacrest leave James Cameron, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Tom Ford bewildered all within a 3-minute sequence.  This can only mean that the 2010 Oscars have commenced!  Or as they are known technically, The 2010 Academy Awards Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire.

8pm ET Pre-Show: Kathy Ireland is here!  Can somebody put the wheels in motion on Necessary Roughness 2?  The public demands more Sinbad.

"George Clooney, tell me about your pranks!" is the entertainment reporter variant of "Coach, give me your assessment of the first half of play."

What is going on with Kathy Ireland?  She's talking to everyone as if they're autistic.  Or as if she's had a stroke.

I watched The Box a couple weeks ago, and am frankly disappointed to see Cameron Diaz without her terrible southern accent.  Sidenote:  The first half of The Box is shockingly compelling.  Luckily, Richard Kelly remembers that he's Richard Kelly halfway through, and the second half is a laughably ridiculous mess.  There are zombies involved.  Seriously.

I like how much of this pre-show involves movies that aren't being released for months.  Also I love how this jackass reporter is giving Steve Carrell and Tina Fey shit and telling them "This isn't the Emmys," but everyone acts like it's completely normal for Miley Cyrus to be there.

 Sherri Shepherd just asked the Twilight kid, "What did you do to prepare for tonight?"  I can't think of an acceptable answer for such an insane question.  Should he have done research by attending other awards show beforehand?  She also called him "The most famous werewolf in motion picture history."  We've gone from zero-to-fucking stupid in record time this year.


7:30p:  We open with the 10 lead actor nominees getting introduced.  Is this American Idol?  A Neil Patrick Harris song does little to answer this question.

Get That Junk Outta Here!

Rob Lowery is a walking contradiction.

Who knew it could be so angst inducing to play your way off the most mediocre bubble in tournament history?

Bad Idea 2010 Oscars preview

The Oscars are Sunday night, and my plan right now is a Bad Idea Live Blog, following in the mediocre tradition of 2008 and 2009.  This year's Oscars seem to be the most predictable in recent memory, so enjoy the hours of interminable waiting that leads up to inevitable wins for Christoph Waltz, Mo'Nique, Jeff Bridges, and Sandra Bullock!  But at least we can watch ex-spouses fight over Best Picture.

If there were any question that I was unemployed for the latter half of 2009, the fact that I've seen all 10 Best Picture nominees would erase all doubts.  My two favorite films of '09 were Inglourious Basterds and A Serious Man, and while both are nominated here, both will lose. However, I also loved The Cove, and it has a great shot at winning the documentary category.  There's been a rash in recent years of documentaries about Iraq/Global Warming/Corporate corruption/etc.  And while I have no problem with those topics, those docs are usually ridiculously boring, as if I'm watching a visual representation of a good magazine article.  On the flipside, The Cove is ENTHRALLING, and I love any excuse to openly wonder "What the fuck is wrong with Japan?"  The trailer will hook you:

I'll likely elaborate on various throughts throughout the live blog, but here are my mini, twitter-sized reviews of each of the 10 best picture nominees.  Spoiler alert:  I REALLY hated one of these 10 movies.  See if you can guess which one!

AVATAR:  Classic conundrum. Amazing visuals like you've never seen before, combined with the worst dialogue since my 3rd grade play. Gets worse the more I think about it.

THE BLIND SIDE:  Loved the book. Expected to hate the movie but surprisingly did not, aside from a few scenes. Also: college coaches "acting" as themselves!

DISTRICT 9:  Great first hour: Innovative and awesome. Terrible final 40 mins: I thought perhaps the final reel was replaced with TRANSFORMERS 2 .

AN EDUCATION:  In every one of his movies, Peter Sarsgaard is driven to kiss you, kill you, or break your heart. Stop toying with my confused feelings sir!

THE HURT LOCKER:  Decent script, but the movie would be ordinary with a standard director. The framing/distance of each sequence are the magic of why it works.

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS:  Opening scene is 20 mins of point-perfect dialogue, tone, & tension. Gets even more fun from there. Ballsiest final line in recent memory.

PRECIOUS:  Lee Daniels made you feel like shit with MONSTERS BALL and does it again here! Best date movie since DANCER IN THE DARK! Also, Lenny Kravitz.

A SERIOUS MAN:  Might be funniest Coen bros movie ever. Increased my knowledge of Yiddish exponentially. Will only enhance your love of Jefferson Airplane.

UP:  AMAZING first 10 minutes and enjoyable ending cover up a by-the-numbers middle 60 mins. MR FOX is the more consistent animation of '09.

UP IN THE AIR:  Every aspect of it is a mess. Clooney is miscast. Script makes no sense. Character development is one 180° turn after another. Just brutal.

Bad Idea Show Review: Evan Dando at Double Door

 Today is Kurt Cobain's 43rd birthday.  The thought of a 43-year-old Kurt Cobain makes no logical sense.  It's impossible to create an image of what type of music or existence Cobain would be creating were he alive today, as no genre seems particularly viable.

Evan Dando's 43rd birthday is less than two weeks away.  Like Cobain, he spent the early portion of the 1990s appearing on magazine covers and consuming a ridiculous amount of heroin and cocaine.  Unlike Cobain, Dando avoided killing himself, and it appears that his artistic reward for still being alive to to try and figure out how to navigate the waters of his past, his future, and pop music as a genre.  There's a misconception that Elliott Smith's songs were sad and miserable because people thought of Smith himself being sad and miserable.  This is not the case, but listening to the  It's a Shame About Ray or Come on Feel the Lemonheads today reveals something obvious in retrospect: Evan Dando was a pretty miserable junkie in his heyday, albeit a junkie whose talent for composing hooks loomed even larger than his habit.  The songs and arrangements were so catchy that few has any incentive to delve into the actual lyrical content.  After all, who wants to spend time examining layers of the guy who writes "Bit Part" or covers "Mrs. Robinson."  It's much more fun to keep the critiques simple, and revel in the eternally adorable backing vocals of Juliana Hatfield.

At the Double Door last night, Dando seemed like a man at a crossroads.  He seemingly no longer relates on any level to the songs that made him a twee Gen X poster boy.  He sings them like a busker on the subway, literally sounding like he's doing a cover version of a song he wrote himself.  Examine the following sequence, where he soullessly shuffles through trimmed down offerings of "Into Your Arms" and "It's About Time," before segueing into "No Backbone," an excellent song off The Lemonheads' 2006 self-titled album (and one that actually seems to carry some emotional weight in the performance.)

Your Move, Harry Connick

Last month, Indianapolis rapper G-fresh created some buzz by becoming (I'm guessing) the first artist to get a video featuring Haughville showcased on MTV and  BET.

But as I learned today - via My Old Kentucky Blog - G-fresh is not one to rest on his laurels.  This is evident in a Colts-centric remix of his single "On My Momma,"  or as I like to call it, "The Greatest Thing You'll See Today."

Who's up for a game of shoe football?




Lil' Ronnie could not be reached for comment.